It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
