How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
