My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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