I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
