Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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