I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
