They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my sisters under your porch take her home
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!