Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
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He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.