Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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(812): View more from Indiana

it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

(1-812): View more from Indiana

tasteful.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(423): View more from Tennessee

Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I'm eager to hear this explaination.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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(614): View more from Ohio

just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.

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