Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in