Sry I called you an 8
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.