Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.