Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
