I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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