if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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