apparently the secret to your success is patron
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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