I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
