It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
