3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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