I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we're so committed to being not committed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize