Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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