I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
