Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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