All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
