Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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