Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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