I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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