eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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