i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
