you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
