I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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