So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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