Small penises have feelings too.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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