I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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