we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
