I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
