i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
