I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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