ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
