So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dear god my vagina.
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