hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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