Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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