What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
