Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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