I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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