I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
