I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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