It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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