READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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