Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
