I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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