operation harelip BJ is a go
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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