all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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