i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When did angry sex become our thing?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
