I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Terrible idea I love it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
