she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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