Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize