Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
