Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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