I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
