I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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