Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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