If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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