We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
