I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize