just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
