2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
