i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
