Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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