There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
