Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
