why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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