i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
