I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize