i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
