I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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