Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
